Marissa's Story
“Marissa was a beautiful walking experience of love, and all that entails, the caring, the compassion, the light and the spark.” -Erica, Marissa’s Mother
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Marissa Marguerite Mathy-Zvaifler was gifted to this world on February 28, 1987 in Santa Fe, NM, the only child of two loving and devoted parents, Erica Zvaifler and Tony Mathy. From a very young age, Marissa proved to be a creative and compassionate soul, knowing she wanted to become a fashion designer and dolphin trainer when she was older. Marissa was an outstanding student as well as a born athlete. She excelled in many activities including Softball, Gymnastics, Basketball, Soccer, Cheer-Leading, and Dance, exhibiting a natural ease in whatever pursuit she attempted. She was an avid explorer of life, visiting Italy, England, Mexico, Hawaii and many places in the US all before her 16th birthday.
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During her high school years, she was well known for her vibrant smile, contagious laugh, playfulness, home-made (sometimes outrageous) attire and ability to freely express herself in any situation. She was a born performer, charismatic and spirited, which became blatantly apparent when she began participating in theater productions both in school and out. During her Junior year, Marissa and a few close friends began making short films. She participated in all aspects of production; directing, acting and filming entertaining and creative stories. She had an unshakable voice, was an advocate for many and was never afraid to stand up for what she believed in. She participated in the Gay/Straight Alliance Club at Santa Fe High School, which led her to facilitating talks on Sex-Ed and AIDS prevention workshops for youth.
It is difficult to put into words the beauty and exuberance that was contained in this young woman. She was an old soul that moved through the world seeing through the eyes of an innocent child. She had an ease and grace uncommon to most 16-year-olds, or any age for that matter. She was the epitome of gorgeous both inside and out, tall and elegant, with bright blue eyes and a smile that could not be ignored. She wasted no time in this life, exploring, sharing, loving, laughing and living every moment to its fullest potential. She had a warmth and openness that drew many things to her,and she gave freely of her love and time to anyone who was lucky enough to be around her. The world was her friend and she had no time for enemies or discontent.
On July 16th, 2003, Marissa and her friends attended a show in Albuquerque, NM of the Minneapolis based, hip hop group, Atmosphere. Marissa enjoyed the night out with her friends, arriving in a limo, dancing barefoot, singing, and wearing one of her wild creations and her bright smile across her face. At one point during the evening she stepped on a piece of glass and went in seek of first aid. An employee of the theater, claiming to be a security guard took her upstairs, offering to help her. She went willingly, completely unaware that this would be the last time she would ever see her friends.This was one time where her openness, her trust in humanity and her free-spirited nature would not bring her closer to the world but would cost her everything.
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Marissa’s life was taken from her that night, by the man who had offered to help her. Already a convicted sex-offender he had “slipped through the cracks” in the New Mexico Judicial system and had never served any jail time. He was on probation and was not supposed to be anywhere near young people. Why was he not in jail serving a sentence for his previous rape? Why was he allowed to work in a theater that swarms local youth frequented? Who was supposed to be watching him? The answers to these questions are not simple,but Marissa’s loved ones vowed that there would be no second time for this nightmarish crime.
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The shocking news swept across the nation, everyone from local news stations to People Magazine and Teen Vogue wanted to tell the tale of the vibrant 16-year-old girl in New Mexico whose life was taken by a convicted sex-offender. The public was outraged along with her friends and family. They searched for light in the dark, for meaning and for ways to assure her story was remembered and not repeated. They vowed that her death would not be mourned, but her life celebrated, Marissa would not die in vain.
Soon after, her peer community and family members pressured local politicians to look at the laws that allowed this horrific crime to take place in order to help prevent cases like hers from reoccurring. They worked with local politicians to pass two important bills in New Mexico, “Marissa’s Sunshine Law” which required that sex offenders on probation must notify their employers, and “Marissa’s Law” which reformed laws dealing with sex offenders including mandatory minimum prison and parole sentences as well as increased treatment. They also teamed up with Girl’s Film School to produce an educational documentary about her story titled, “Educating Marissa”. These things brought a sense of unity and accomplishment to her
loved ones, but healing the emotional wounds and painful memories of this inconceivable reality would take much more.
loved ones, but healing the emotional wounds and painful memories of this inconceivable reality would take much more.
Marissa had planned to participate in a 20-hour Women’s Self Defense class hosted by Impact Personal Safety, that fall. Instead her friends took the class without her and with deep wounds still fresh . The course which offers many tools, including hands-on interpersonal skills and strategies to prevent and stop assault, was a cathartic event for those who were trying to cope with their loss. Fighting for your life had just been given new meaning and though extremely challenging and at times terrifying, many of Marissa’s friends graduated from the basic skills class.A Marissa Scholarship Fund was created to assure that all young women in Santa Fe had access to the course and to the skills and tools, that could have saved Marissa’s life.
Weeks before she passed, Marissa had participated and delighted in the SEEDs (Self-esteem, Empowerment and Education through Dance) summer camp, a free two-week introduction to an after-school youth mentorship program created in Santa Fe, NM by Myra Krien.. She had planned to enroll in the program in the fall which met three days a week, once again, her friends would gather without her, but with her memory ever present. SEEDs provided a safe and healthy environment for these young women to gather in, to cry, to share, to support one another and to learn to channel their emotions into healthy activities such as journal writing and Belly Dance. The SEEDs program also offered life skills and information such as financial independence, sexual education, women’s health and goal setting, in the hopes of fostering strong and capable young women. A handful of her friends found hope, healing,inspiration and loving community in this program, and many of them continue dancing to this day.
The Marissa Mission was created in honor of Marissa Mathy-Zvaifler, using many of the tools and modalities of healing that reinvigorated her friends after her untimely death.
The Marissa Mission was created in honor of Marissa Mathy-Zvaifler, using many of the tools and modalities of healing that reinvigorated her friends after her untimely death.
